Burning down the house

 

I tried to burn the house down yesterday. 

 

Good thing my sis was here.  I put on a pan of water to boil for mac n cheese and then had to go out front to get on the kids for yelling, I heard  my sis say it's on fire, but she was really calm, so I got on the kids 1 more time and came back to the kitchen where sure as a bear shits in the woods the were reaching the cabinet above the stove, m quick thinking sis had already turned the burner off, but the flames were still going.  I tried to smother it with my daughters robe that was hanging on the bathroom door, but it just melted the robe, I then pulled he whole burner off and any other damn day the back door would be open, bu not today, I had to drop the burning stove element and burner plate open the bk door and then I kicked it out the bk door.  In the process of getting the fire out I burned the hell out of my finger, my main typing finger too....  but it's ok I can deal with it, I am scared to death of fires and for me and my sis to stay so calm about it was amazing, I later told her how proud I was of her she said I shouldn't be cause the only reason she appeared to be so calm was cause she was freaking out to bad to talk......

 

and before all the burning water jokes come rolling in...

it wasn't my fault......

J had spilled some oil from the pan I did chicken nuggets in and didn't bother to clean it up, or even warn me, yeah you can imagine how mad I as when I told him over the phone the stove caught on fire and he asked if it was the left front burner, I said yes what did u spill, he said nothing, he later admitted the oil, I am still mad as hell about it, but at least all I lost was my finger print on 1 finger, not my home or for god's sake my kids..

Can anyone teach me how to choke a man with one finger???